FORBIDDEN LONGINGS

 
 

By Carol Sandford

 
 

Chapter 10

 
 

Will slowly made his way along the corridor that housed the senior staff's quarters. It had been a long, tedious and upsetting day.

The incident with Deanna had haunted him through every miserable hour. Will knew he should apologise. It was unforgivable what he had said to her in Ten Forward. And very childish, but she had steadfastly avoided him all day.

After Deanna's meeting with the captain this morning, they had both emerged smiling. But it was a smile that held a secret, and it had plagued him, all day long.

Will glanced at Deanna's door as he approached it on his way to Beverly's quarters, but as he went to pass, the doors opened. Expecting Deanna to stroll through them he held his breath for the confrontation.

But it never came, and nor did she.

Hesitating on its threshold, Will peered into the dimness beyond. A candle flickered on the small table and its scent filled his nostrils. He hesitantly called out to her, "Deanna...Are you o.k.?"

But he was greeted with nothing more than silence.

Will took another hesitant step inside and his heart pounded hard within his chest. His footsteps were silent on the plush carpet, but at that moment, Will wished he made enough noise to wake the dead.

He felt uncomfortable stepping into Deanna's domain, almost like he had no right to be there. The hairs stood up on his neck as he came to an uneasy halt at her bedroom doorway. Will began to feel as if he was walking into a trap, but before he could take one step back, he felt her hand lightly trail up his back.

Deanna's breathless whisper was close enough to tickle the skin around his ear. "You came, Imzadi. I knew you would come back to me."

Will's eyes fell shut as her intimately suggestive words triggered the dormant desire that he'd had for her long ago, but now had pushed to one side for Beverly. Only Beverly had filled his thoughts for the past few weeks. Only she had managed to stir his loins. But he wasn't sure how much it would take to direct him back into Deanna's arms, and her heart.

Will's sensually drugged eyes flew open when he felt a finger nail touch his lips and he realised that Deanna had moved to stand before him.

Deanna watched Will's eyes widen as he took in her appearance. Her eyes were heavily made up. Somehow she had managed to make them look even larger with the black khol outline. She looked sexy and she knew it, and judging by Will's reaction, she had succeeded in looking exotic and sultry.

She watched as Will's mouth fell open when his eyes reached her own mouth. The bright, blood red lipstick she wore glistened in the candlelight, and as the tip of her tongue moistened them further, she heard him silently groan.

Will's insides ached with a longing for her that he had not felt since their time on Betazed. He knew he had to step away before he would be tempted to touch her, because once he did, he didn't think he would be able to control what would happen.

Sensing Will's withdrawal, Deanna reached to unclasp the clip upon her shoulder. The simple long shift she wore fell to a pool at her feet, revealing her nakedness beneath.

She stepped nearer to Will before he had time to react and laced her arms around his neck.

Her lips were barely millimetres away from his, but she still felt Will's resistance. Threading her fingers into his hair, Deanna pulled his mouth to hers. The instant their lips touched broke the last of his already weakened resolve.

Will had stood like a statue as Deanna had revealed herself to him, somehow telling himself that if he did not make the move, then he was blameless. But he could not have moved away, even if his life had depended on it.

But once her lips had touched his, once he had felt her tongue circle them with exact precision, Will was completely lost.

The combination of Deanna's luscious form pressing against him and her hands holding his head firmly as she doubtlessly began to kiss him, smashed through Will's feeble resolution, throwing it out of the door as he in turn began to plunder the deepest recesses of her mouth, crushing her to him as he fiercely held her against his own traitorous reaction, the combined heat burning a trail right to their very souls.

It seemed like hours later, but in reality was barely minutes as the intimately locked couple devoured every ounce of feeling and emotion that they each had to offer. But when Will finally heard Deanna's whimpered plea to make love to her, it was enough to make him stop and take stock of what he was doing.

Deanna felt Will's withdrawal as she uttered the words that she thought would seal their reunion. Deanna knew that if she could get Will to make love to her he would have never go back to Beverly. His betrayal would have been too great.

If Deanna knew anything about Will, it was his fidelity to one woman, and she was certain that she would have won. But Will's next words shook Deanna to her very centre.

"No, Deanna, I'm sorry, I'm going back to Beverly."

~*~

Will staggered from Deanna's quarters feeling sick to his stomach as every ounce of Deanna's anger, horror, shame and guilt surged through him. As he steadied himself in the corridor it was a while before Will could blot out the emotions that raged on on the other side of the wall.

His hands flew to his ears as Will heard something slam against the door and shatter into a billion pieces. Pushing himself wearily from the wall, he made his way along to Beverly's quarters.

As Will entered Beverly's cabin, she was preparing for bed. Hearing him enter as she turned back the covers, she spoke before facing him.

"Hi!" she smiled, "Did you get lo..."

Beverly's words died on her lips as she turned to question Will. Even without the tell-tale red lipstick smeared around his mouth, or the stench of Deanna's very distinctive perfume, Beverly knew Will had been with her.

Blue eyes silently locked as a million questions and excuses raged through their stunned senses, but it was Will who finally broke the hushed quietness. "I am so, so sorry Beverly, but I swear to you, I did not make love to Deanna."

Unable to utter a single word, Beverly continued to stare at him until he spoke again. Will could see the mistrust in her eyes, could feel her pain. His hoarse whisper broke as he tried to justify himself once more. "Bev, please, I would not lie to you."

At last Beverly fell from her daze as his tactless remark hit her raw nerves. Her eyes blazed as she hammered Will into the floor with every hurtful, cutting word that she could muster.

"Lie, Will! Our whole relationship is a lie! Haven't you realised yet that this relationship is one, big, hopeless charade? It can never work between us, Will, and I cannot believe you haven't seen that yet."

Will trembled as the impact of her words chilled him. But it was not until Beverly had spoken the cruel words that he dimly realised just how much she had meant to him. "But, Beverly, I...I think I love you. I want to be with you. I need you."

He did not like the tiny sneer that crept into her flawless features and her voice was quiet when she added even more salt to his wounds. "You don't need me, Will. Why would you need me, or love me, when you have Deanna? You are supposed to Imzadi, after all. No woman or man is supposed to be able to prise an Imzadi couple apart, so why are you trying to kid yourself otherwise, Will?"

Beverly's voice softened as the impact of her words slowly destroyed the tall man that visibly shrunk before her. The man who had probably saved her sanity.

"You belong to Deanna, Will. I know that, and she knows that, When are you going to realise it?" She asked him tenderly.

Will heard the change in her tone. The bitterness had gone, but now she appeared to be telling him something else. "What are you saying, Beverly?"

Beverly stepped towards him until she was close enough to have to crane her head to see into the eyes that had taken her to heaven and back. Had stripped her bare and revered in their discoveries. Had cherished her heart and had slowly, but surely, fallen in love with her.

As much as it hurt Beverly to let Will go, she knew it was time and she told him so, as gently as she could. "What I am saying, Will, is, it's time to end this. I realised some time ago that I had gotten over Odan. I can cope on my own now, Will, thanks to you. I'm sorry, Will, but I don't love you. I am very, very fond of you, but your heart belongs to another, and so does mine. You have a chance to win Deanna back, and I have some very fond memories to keep me going until I find someone new."

As Beverly had spoken, Will had taken her in his arms. Most of her words were lost in his shoulder, but he understood what she was telling him. Maybe it was time. Maybe she was ready, but was he? He wasn't so sure. Right at that moment, he felt like he had lost everything.

Beverly broke the close contact and Will reluctantly released her. Beverly could see the turmoil in his eyes as he tried to take in what she was saying. She didn't miss their tell-tale sparkle, either.

Touching his face lightly, Beverly smiled gently at Will and left him standing in the middle of the room as she made her way out of her quarters. Will didn't turn to watch her go, or try to stop her.

 
     
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