FORBIDDEN LONGINGS

 
 

By Carol Sandford

 
 

Chapter 02

 
 

The air was alive with emotions that raged on between the two friends. Will didn't know what to say to her. This felt so wrong and his mind raced through every logical reason why it should not be happening.

Why this should not happen.

He started, "Bev...I..."

But before he could utter another word, Beverly choked on the rapidly rising sobs as she quietly pleaded for him to help her as she reached for him. "Will, get me out of here, please."

Her plaintive cry finally broke through Will's dazed stupor and he stepped forward to help her off the stool. But before he managed to do just that, Beverly's foot slipped and she found herself grasping wildly at him to stop herself falling in an undignified heap at his feet.

Her nervous and embarrassed chuckle drew the attention of the lounge visitors and Will found himself looking back at them with an apologetic grin. "The lady's had a bad day."

The onlookers faces rapidly turned from mild curiosity to ones of pity before turning away and resuming their own conversations. Will steadied the smaller woman before holding her close to his side slowly making their way out of the lounge until they entered the turbolift without any further mishaps.

Will barked out the appropriate deck number and the lift silently began to move slowly taking them to their destination.

Beverly was still propped against Will's chest and he thought she had nodded off as she had become silent. But as he bent slightly to look into her face he was mortified to find her quietly crying.

Cradling her closer still, Will held her tightly against him whispering comforting sounds as the lift finally reached the required floor.

As the door opened, Will swung Beverly into his arms and carried her to her door. Over-riding the admission code he stepped into her domain and carried her straight into her bedroom and lay her on top of the bed.

But as he went to stand, Beverly pulled him back towards her, her hands locking behind his head.

Will searched her face and what he saw made him swallow painfully. Her eyes, still misty with unshed tears, looked directly into his and Will recognised the longing that he saw there. Beverly had looked at him in the same way when he'd had the symbiant inside of him.

When she had finally relented and accepted Odan's love through Will.

But this was now and Odan was long gone. This was wrong. Will gently and reluctantly tugged at her arms, his voice regretful as he lay her hands back upon her own body. "Don't do this, Beverly, we'll both regret this if it happens."

Beverly sobbed, her tears falling freely again as she tried to make him understand. "I need you Will, I need Odan. Pretend to be Odan again for me, just for tonight, please?"

Will slowly shook his head and stood up "No, Beverly, I'm not what you need."

Will watched her reach for the fastening on her tunic and he stepped back unsure of what to do next as he searched her face again, bewildered at the changes in his friend. Gone were the tears. Now her face wore the determined look of a desperate woman.

"Don't you desire me, Will? Don't you want this to happen again?" She asked. "I think you do, I've seen you looking at me. I know you remember how it was between us. It wasn't all Odan, was it Will? It was you who made love to me."

He stepped further back away from the telling gaze.

She knew.

She knew that he had enjoyed their union.

She knew that it had not been just Odan making love to her.

She knew that he had often thought about how good it had been between them.

And she knew that he would make love to her again in a minute, if things were different. Beverly Crusher was a beautiful woman and she had been an exquisite lover and that had surprised him the most.

Beneath his eager body she had come alive. It would be long time before he forgot her image as he had sank himself into her time and time again, remembering her red hair as it had splayed across the pure white pillow. The hidden freckles that he had discovered as he'd explored every inch of her creamy skin.

She had been insatiable and he had been almost sorry when Odan had been removed from his belly. He'd had no more excuses to continue on with the affair. And besides which, there was another factor.

Deanna.

Will would never jeopardize what he had with his Imzadi, Deanna Troi, and he knew that he would, if he had a relationship with Beverly.

But Beverly was different and she deserved nothing less than his all and Will respected that.

But Will's heart and soul belonged to Deanna.

It was one thing to have shallow one night stands with other women. They both needed them and frequently did. But Beverly was different.

She was special.

Will could not...would not have an affair with her, no matter what. His head pounded with the phrase over and over. However, his body was struggling with the decision he'd made. He had to put some space between them before it was too late.

Beverly's voice brought him back to the present. "Will?"

Turning about, he began to walk out of her bedroom, "I'm sorry, Bev, I can't give you what you want. I won't do that to Deanna."

At the mention of the Betazoid's name, Beverly became incensed. Sitting up abruptly she almost shrieked as Will stepped into her lounge out of her sight.

"Deanna!? You don't give a damn about Deanna when your screwing every other female aboard this ship, Will Riker. You don't give a damn if your screwing some bloody alien that's got green skin and ten arms! As long as it's got a female anatomy, you'll screw it, so don't give me that crap!"

Her tone turned plaintive as she continued. "Why can't you look at me in the same way, Will, why?"

Will stepped back to the bedroom doorway. Not trusting himself if he went any closer, he propped himself against the steel jamb as he tried to explain his dilemma, his hands flailing helplessly. "Beverly, this is different. You know it's different. You're our friend, one of our closest friends. I can't make love to you now, Deanna would never forgive me. I would never forgive me."

Will turned to leave his voice low as he made his way out of her quarters,"Please stop doing this to yourself, Bev."

But as he stepped outside the doors her scream reached his ears making him stop in his tracks.

"I don't care anymore. I want you and I will have you again, and if Deanna doesn't like it, TOUGH!"

Will heard her desperate wail through the steel bulk of the door as he stood on the other side and regained his senses. She had really knocked him for six. But instead of walking away, like he should have done, he tried to find a way to keep everyone happy, somehow.

But as he seriously considered on going back in there, his promises forgotten as new ones went round and round in his head, Could I get away with just one night? he wondered.

Will hated to admit it, but at that minute, he wanted to be in there,with her, giving her the loving that she desperately needed. And hell, if he was honest, he needed it too. All it had taken was one look across a crowded lounge to remind him how good it had been between them. He groaned as his body reacted to the erotic memories that washed over him.

Torn between the desire to go back in and his feelings for Deanna, Will visibly jumped when he heard an almighty thump from within her cabin.

Fate had it's own way of dealing with situations and it seemed fate had destined him to go back in.

That's what he told himself as he waited for the door to re-admit him.

 
     
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