FORBIDDEN LONGINGS

 
 

By Carol Sandford

 
 

Chapter 08

 
 

Will was woken many times by Deanna's thoughts. Sometimes they were just everyday endearments, and sometimes they were not so innocent. And as time wore on, not only did she send to him when he was awake, she started to invade his dreams, too.

Tonight's invasion was exceptional.

Tonight they were back at Janaran Falls. They were lying naked on the shoreline and their love-making had taken on a mind of its own, and it had reached its peak.

This was the day that they had given themselves to each other, the day that they had become Imzadi.

Movement woke Beverly from her deep sleep, instantly alert as Will thrashed about beside her. Her medical mind immediately thought that he had a fever, but as she touched his chest it became apparent that he didn't.

But what he did have was a huge erection. Beverly went cold as she recognised what was happening and his face confirmed it. Will was making love to someone.

Was it her?

Of course it was.

Beverly smiled as she began to join in with his movements. Her hand slid down his damp torso, gasping when he took her hand and forced it to his rock hard member and wrapped her fingers around it's length. Whimpering with need, his hand indicated just what he wanted her to do to him.

Quietly laughing, Beverly pushed his hand away and continued the erotic motion until she could no longer resist the temptation of having more. Climbing on top, she hovered herself briefly over him before coming down on him in one fell swoop.

Will felt possessed. Still locked in the dreamworld, he gasped out loud as Deanna sank onto him, and as he began to move, he felt her surround and embrace every live nerve ending within him. Every thought was hers, right down to the very depths of his soul.

As he began to climb the stairway to oblivion, Will had to call out her new found name, the name that just a while before had sealed their destiny.

He cried out to her.

For her, and only her.

'Imzadi!'

But even before the words had left his mouth, Beverly had known that Will was not dreaming about her. He was dreaming about Deanna.

~*~

As Will began to stir from his dream he slowly opened his eyes and came face to face with a mass of tumbled red hair, and as soon as his eyes met hers, he knew he had just made a fatal, irretrievable mistake.

Not quite sure if what happened, really had happened, and he desperately hoped that it had not, Will whispered to the liquid blue eyes that stared back at him, his hand gesturing back and forth between the two of them.

"Did we just make love?"

His heart fell as she shook her head. His one word said it all.

"Oh."

It was the last thing he should have said.

Incensed, Beverly climbed off and huddled under the bedclothes. Seething, she attacked him with words. "Oh!! You dream of making love to HER. You call out that damn word and all you can say is, Oh!!"

Will closed his eyes as his world fell apart before him. Beverly did not deserve this and he tried to apologize. "I am so sorry, Beverly, I don't know what is happening to me."

She looked at him with disbelief. "This has happened before??"

He nodded.

Now she was angry. "You mean to tell me, Will, that while your sleeping next to me, you're dreaming about Deanna!?"

Dejected, he nodded again.

She still couldn't quite believe it. "You're making love to Deanna?"

Will looked away, ashamed at having to admit his betrayal, even if it was not entirely his doing. "It's not my fault, Bev, she must be sending to me through our bond. I can block her out during the day, but at night, I can't control it."

As Will watched her leap out of bed and roughly put her robe on, he realised that he'd said the wrong thing again as Beverly turned on him. "You mean she is doing this in the daytime too!?" Will could only nod shamefacedly.

Beverly swore. "Shit! Why is she doing this to us, Will? I thought we were okay with her. I thought she understood." She cried passionately.

Beverly stomped into the lounge area, needing to put some space between them, but Will followed her out, dragging the sheet with him, attempting to make a sarong out it to cover up his nudity.

"Maybe we should think about how Deanna feels for a minute." he started, "Maybe she is having trouble letting me go, like you experienced with Odan. Maybe she feels it's time for us to end our affair."

The fight went out of Beverly as she listened to him speak. After a moment, she looked at him, standing in front of her as he tried his best to defend and understand Deanna's actions.

"Do you want to let her go, Will? Do you want us to finish so that you can go back to how you were with her?" Beverly snorted before she continued, "Whatever that was. I'm still not sure if you two are a couple or not!"

Will's eyes pleaded for her to understand. He reached out to comfort her but she stepped away and his hand fell away dejected. "Don't do this to us, Beverly. I don't want to lose you. But you must understand what it is between Deanna and I."

Will's eyes pleaded with her to listen, and he was heartened when she did "We are linked by a bond and nothing can change that. Most other Imzadi couples marry, have families, live happily ever after, but it's not what we want at this moment in time. Maybe later our priorities will change, but until then, we are free agents. We may love each other, Beverly, but that is all. At this moment I am with you. I choose to be with you."

Will stepped towards her again and this time she did not step away. Taking her in his arms, they stood in the darkness, healing hurts that had no right to hurt.

Along the corridor, Deanna smiled cat-like in the darkness. She had begun the rift.

~*~

The following morning Will made his way to Ten Forward. He knew he would find who he was looking for there.

As he entered, his eyes zoomed in on the solitary figure that propped up the bar, her hands hugging a cup of, and he had no doubts to it's contents, hot chocolate, her celebratory drink.

Walking directly up to her, Deanna smiled wide as she spotted him beside her. He stormed in before she had a chance to even say hello. "Good morning, Counselor, how did your date go last night?"

She looked at him, puzzlement etching her face, "Date, what date? I didn't have a date last night."

A cold chill shot through her body as he spoke loud enough for the entire lounge's occupants to hear. "Sure you did, Deanna, I could hear you having a good time all the way down the corridor. Next time though, keep it down would you, I wouldn't want to have to report you to the captain."

Deanna stared at him open-mouthed before glancing around to see if anyone had heard.

They had, but as she turned back to Will to defend herself, she only came face to face with his retreating back as he stormed away from her, leaving her to smile apologetically at the interested audience and to get up off the stool and walk out, somehow with her dignity still in tact.

Once she had cleared the doors, Deanna stopped to steady herself by bracing herself against the cool corridor wall. Will had never, ever spoken like that to her in public before and it shook her to the core. And above all that, she had to face him on the bridge, in ten minutes time.

Her heart pounded with dread at the prospect. How on earth was she going to cope? But one thing she was certain of now was that it all had got to stop.

~*~

Will watched Deanna walk onto the bridge with her head held high and her mind firmly closed. She greeted the captain politely enough, but barely managed to utter, 'Commander'. to Will as she sat down for her shift.

Will didn't even try to answer her.

She sat in her chair for all of two minutes before rapidly standing again. "Captain, may I speak with you in private, please, sir?"

Picard raised his eyebrows but rose and pointed the way, "Of course, Counselor, after you."

Will watched them go, hoping with all his heart that she was not going to do what he thought she would.

 
     
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