INNOCENT LONGINGS

 
 

By Carol Sandford

 
 

Chapter 03

 
 

Once they were in her office, the safest place possible, in Deanna's mind, Wesley perched himself on the edge of his seat. Deanna sat back in her own chair with her arms and legs crossed, and asked, "Why, Wesley?"

He looked pathetically young to her, and his voice even squeaked with immaturity. "I'm sorry, but I wanted to let you know how I felt, and I thought that once I'd sent enough stuff, you would look at me a bit different, y'know, more like a man."

Deanna had a great deal of difficulty trying not to smile at him, so instead she stood and walked around to the front of her desk, sat on it's edge and weighed up her words very carefully before she spoke. Deanna knew that she didn't want to lead him or on, or upset him unduly, so she said, "Wesley, I am very flattered that you find me... desirable, but I'm sure you realise that a relationship between us is not possible."

He stood up in front of her, and she found herself watching his eyes as he rose above her. She didn't see his hands rise and take her fingers within his. She was so stunned at his forthrightedness that Deanna didn't immediately pull away, staring down at their laced hands, speechless.

When Deanna looked back to his face, she realized she had made another mistake; Wesley Crusher was no longer a boy, but indeed a very handsome young man, a man that she could find very desirable, one day.

Taking advantage of her silence, Wesley plunged in head first. "Deanna, I am in love with you."

She was so gobsmacked that all she could do was stare open-mouthed at him, and when Wesley moved nearer and kissed her lightly, and longingly upon the lips, she didn't move one inch. Breaking off, he moved back and simply looked at her, smiling tenderly, and then turned and walked out of her office.

Still tingling from the impact that shot through her body, Deanna's fingers lightly touched her lips with wonder. She was moved with emotion, but what really worried her more was her own response to him. He had managed to bring out the raw, primal feelings that had been bubbling just beneath the surface, and with it came a heat that now needed to be soothed, and she seriously considered Wesley to be the one to do it.

But seconds later, she snapped back to reality and groaned into her hands as she covered her face in shame.

What had she done?

She was still sitting in the same position when Will called in a little later. He looked worriedly at her face, which still wore in its dazed look. "Dee, are you alright?" he asked. "Beverly said that you were a bit scared about what had been happening, and I'm sorry for the way I behaved. You threw me off balance for a while there, and I've only just managed to stand up straight again."

He attempted to grin at her, but she still only stared at him in shock. "Deanna, you're scaring me. Has something happened? Talk to me, dammit!" He swore, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her a little to rouse her.

His mild curse filtered through her reverie, and she stood sudenly, brushing invisible fluff from her clothes hoping that it was enough time to gather her face to neutrality when she looked back at him. She plastered a big grin on her face and attempted to brave it out. "I'm fine, Will, and I accept your apology, but everything's okay now. I've solved the mystery. It was just somebody playing a joke on me. I just took it too much to heart, that's all."

Will didn't believe her. He knew her mind was in a turmoil, purely because he could still sense some of it. Her eyes held a sparkle that looked suspiciously like she was close to tears, but he knew better than to pressure her. She obviously wasn't going to talk to him about it now, so he let her have the benefit of the doubt. "You're sure?"

Deanna nodded rapidly, forcing a grin wider across her face, pulling herself out of his hands and heading toward the door. "Yes, thanks. I've got to go, duty calls. See you later, maybe."

She edged her way past him and hurried out the door and headed towards the sanctuary of her own private quarters. Her mind raced over and over with what she'd done. My god, I let him kiss me! What was I thinking of? What am I going to do? What am I going to tell Beverly?

Deanna agonized for hours, and then finally decided to do nothing. She was sure that Wesley's crush would pass eventually, quicker still when he realized that she wasn't going to return his affections.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Deanna was more than surprised when she found a single red rose on her table the next morning. She sighed when it dawned on her that yesterday's little chat had done nothing to deter him. She pondered whether to continue to ignore him, or go and read him the riot act. Or better still, tell his mother. She chose to read him the riot act. "Computer, locate the whereabouts of Ensign Wesley Crusher."

"Ensign Crusher is in cargo bay 3" the monotoned voice replied.

Now determined more than ever, Deanna made her way down the the cargo bay areas. She soon spotted him checking over an instrumental panel with another young ensign, and headed his way.

Wesley watched her walk in, marvelling each and every step that she took, even though she was obviously angry at him. She came to a halt in front of them both and spoke to his companion. "Ensign, could you please excuse us for a few minutes? I need to discuss something personal with Ensign Crusher, in private."

The young lad shrugged indifferently and moved off. "Sure thing, Counselor, it's about break time anyway. I'll meet you in the canteen, Wes."

Wesley nodded his agreement and they both watched him walk out of the cargo bay. When the door had closed, Deanna turned to Wesley and attempted to sound cross. "Wesley I..." she started.

Deliberately, Wesley broke in before she had a chance to finish, quietly saying as he moved closer to her. "Hello, Deanna, you look beautiful this morning."

Her mouth opened to say something, but then shut again. Once more he had managed to catch her off guard and she turned away from him to hide the confusion that she was sure now showed on her face. "Wesley, this has got to stop."

Deanna jumped when she felt his arms steal around her and pull her close. He was so gentle, that she momentarily stood still and enjoyed the movement. It reminded her of a time long ago when Will had done the same to her, his arms, still scrawny from immaturity, just like Wesley's were. She smiled at the memory, and she almost wilted in his arms when she felt the feather-light kisses upon her neck.

Wesley grinned against her soft skin when he heard her moan. He had waited a long time to do this. The photo had become a sort of goal, and he was determined to take the first opportunity to mirror it, but even he didn't expect his chance to come this soon. But even he knew that she was going to come to her senses any moment now, and sure enough, he felt her pull at his arms.

"No, Wesley, this is wrong." She cried, as she pulled hersef free of his embrace, spinning on her heals to confront him. "I see I'm going to have to stay away from you completely, to make you stop this insanity.'

Her heart wrenched at the boyish grin he threw at her, as he challenged, "No, Deanna, I don't think your going to be able to."

Wesley walked around her, still grinning at her stunned face, continueing to watch her as he walked out of the cargo-bay, leaving her standing still, unable to move.

 
     
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