By Carol Sandford


Chapter 02


Will held his head in his hands trying to squeeze the painful images from his mind. He felt her fingers prising his palms away, but he wouldn't let her; he couldn't. Will felt sure that his head would explode if he released it.

"Let me be, just let me be, it'll go in a minute."

Will didn't think he'd ever get used to the woman's voice that spoke so soothingly, so lovingly to him. He felt like a cretin. He felt like an interloper; like he didn't belong. But he knew he did.

When the doctor had released him from the sickbay the woman, called Deanna, took him to a room. His room, in the hope that it would jog his memory. But it didn't.

According to Deanna and the Doctor, this was his time; this was where he belonged; on a space ship, in space. He remembered laughing at the preposterous idea so much that the doctor had stung his neck with that thing again. Now he knew it wasn't a bug. Now he knew it was a 24th century injection and he'd been zapped into submission again, and he hated it.

In the meantime, at least three times a day, he was blasted with the most horrendous headaches he'd ever encountered. They drove him insane with their intensity and nothing, nothing could help him. That is anything medical. He did find however that Deanna's massaging hands and her soothing words helped, albeit a little.

And she was attempting to help him now. "Lay down, Will, let me help you."

But he hated being so dependant on a stranger even though in his heart that she most certainly was not a stranger to him, not in this lifetime. For an hour after his startling revelation, when he first came to that he didn't have a clue who they were, or where he was, Deanna had tried to fill him in; tried to tell him just how important he was in her life.

But he could do nothing more than listen with that awful dead feeling permeating his soul and knowing that it was killing her too. He could only imagine her loss, it must have been awful to face a total stranger that she loved so deeply, they had created a bond between them.

Will remembered asking her if the two of them were married, and was somewhat relieved when she had told him that they weren't, although he didn't know why he'd felt so much relief when she'd said no. He distantly wondered if he didn't really love her at all, if they were just going through the motions like some couples do, but not having the courage to end the relationship. She had stunned him with her declaration, "You mean the universe to me, Will, and I to you. It's who we are. It's what we are to each other. We are Imzadi. It means all those things that are good between a man and a woman. Love, friendship, respect, and more."

Will lay back against the couch and let Deanna create her magic upon his head. He allowed his mind to think on that word; Imzadi. It was so strange, so alien, and yet, when he heard the word and the way that Deanna spoke it to him, he felt strangely at peace, as though the world had come to rights.

He felt the headache begin to diminish and something else begin to take over. Even though it felt good, he knew it wasn't right. Will reached up to take her hands in his and stop the movement, but instead of removing them, he hesitantly moved them lower to his neck. He felt Deanna sink to the floor behind the couch as she moved her arms around him more fully.

Her voice was husky against his neck and he felt his inside heat up just hearing her speak. How he loved her voice; her accent. "What is it, Will, do you remember something?"

He felt awful shaking his head, but compensated by taking her hands within his and squeezing them comfortingly. "I'm sorry."

He felt her disappointment radiate throughout him and he felt guilty again. But before he could act on it, she had pushed herself to a stand and was preparing to leave/" "Okay, not to worry, I'm sure it will come back soon. Well, I think it's time I left you to rest. I'll...I'll see you tomorrow, Will."

But she was almost out of the door before he could return his good night, and as he watched the door close he felt the weight of his loss saturate him and he wanted desperately to call her back, but the words died on his lips. Seconds later, though, the door re-opened and she stood hesitantly on the threshold.

They stood face to face with a hundred and one questions bouncing between them, but Will surprised himself by being the one to speak first. "I know that right now I don't have any idea who you are, or what it is that is between us, but right now, at this minute, I wish I did, because I need you, Deanna."

Deanna stepped towards him until she came close enough for him to see the passion in her eyes, the pulse at her throat that told him that she was in as much turmoil as he. Will's eyes fell to her arm that slowly rose, welcoming him; beckoning him to her. He didn't need asking twice.

Stepping into her arms was as though he had arrived home. He didn't know how or why, only that nothing felt so right. Deanna fitted against him like a well worn glove and he couldn't resist pulling her flush against his body, completely enveloping her within the circle of his arms.

Heaven. Will felt like he was in heaven. The long moments ticked by as the couple continued to hold each other. Something had passed between them that night. It wasn't anything sexual, just ~something~. Will knew now that even if he never regained his memories, he and Deanna had a chance of a future together. And it was that thought he clung to as he settled down in his bed, contented and at peace.

That was until the dark dream began.

  Book index   Previous chapter   Next chapter