VIOLATIONS - Missing scene


By Carol Sandford


Chapter 01


Missing scene from the episode 'Violations'

Deanna gripped the hairbrush's handle in a death grip as she pulled it through her hair, remembering the last time she had stood before the mirror. Remembering the images that flashed through her mind. Remembering.

Her hand stilled mid-stroke along with her breath as a palm touched her throat, then sliding gently into her nape. Deanna's eyes fluttered shut as she desperately tried to ensure it was Will's hand and not the Ullian, Jevs, that she remembered, but to no avail. No one else's touch could replace her Imzadi's. No one's, and a silent sob left her lungs along with the waiting breath that had halted with hope.

Deanna spun away from the mirror, unable to look at the hurt that she knew etched her shattered features, flinging aside the offending hairbrush, knowing that she would never be able to use it again without remembering.

She was startled when she heard her door chime, and dismayed. Unable to face anyone at that moment she hastily wiped away her teardrops and knowing that her voice would wobble when she spoke, deliberately feigned cheerfulness when she verbally responded. "Who is it?"

A voice she dreaded hearing, and a voice that she longed to hear quietly answered her. "It's me, Deanna. Can I come in?"

Deanna stared longingly at the door, her heart aching, her mind rebelling. "I...I'm sorry, Will, it's not a good time right now. I'm sorry."

For the longest time there was no answer. Deanna's pulse thumped with trepidation, knowing that he hovered on the other side of the door in a quandary. She could sense his dilemma; did he go, or did he stay? Her entire being slumped with failure when the door that she so longingly watched opened with it usual hiss and slowly admitted the one person that she knew she ought not to see, aware that he was the only person that could help her through this.

Will stepped over her threshold and stopped. Once the doors had closed behind him, sealing them inside where no one could see or hear them, Will simply stood and surveyed the woman before him. Distress radiated from her every pore and he wanted to do nothing more than sweep her into his arms and hold her tight.

But he knew what Jev had done to her. Knew what the bastard had said. That he had used his own tender, loving words to get into her mind had tormented Will since the moment he had heard. Words that he had hoped to use one day himself when the time was right. Words that he knew without a shadow of a doubt would make them one again.

Had that bastard foreseen their future, or simply seen into his mind before he had attacked the woman he loved. Still loved. Would always love? Would those same words be welcome if and when the time was right? Will was too scared to ask now, and that was what had hurt him the most.

"Talk to me, Deanna. Let me help, please." He implored with his soothing voice, his mind and his heart. Only he could help her now, he knew that, but at the same time, he was aware that it could have the reverse effect on her, and God help him, Will did not want to cause another moment of pain. But he had to try to help her move past the nightmare.

He stepped forward one pace but Deanna did not move away from him. That was good. He could see the pain in her beautiful Obsidian eyes, eyes that still swam with unshed tears, and Will's heart broke for her. "Deanna?" he repeated quietly and took another step toward her.

Deanna's eyes never left his. Two more steps and she would be able to touch him. Two more steps and he would be able touch her. Would he attempt to touch her face, like 'he' had? Would he attempt to violate her mind like 'he' had? Illogical reasoning stormed through her senses, battling against the love that poured from her soulmate and she hated it, hated what 'he' had done to them. All her life, Deanna had waited for the day when Will would come to her, ready to reclaim the relationship that had been put on hold, and now 'he' had poisoned the eventual reunion, shattering dreams and probably much more besides.

She swallowed. "Tell me one thing, Will, would you be here if this had not happened?" She did not dare add, 'to us' even if she truly wanted to ask it.

Will did not even hesitate with his answer. "Yes. I care about you Deanna. I always have. I always will."

He took another step forward. This time Deanna took one step back. It was too soon.

"Do you know what he..." Tears trickled down her face and she briefly looked away, gathered herself and turned back to him and continued. "You said to me?"

Will studied her face intently for the longest time, desperately trying to gauge what she was asking of him. Was it a desperate plea to rehash Jev's torment or his words of endearment? From Doctor Crusher's report he had known exactly what Jev had done to her, and said. Tormented, Will could eventually only go by what his heart was telling him to do.

The very air stood still as he asked, "Do you still think about me?"

His visibly wilted with relief when she replied, "All the time."

He took another step forward. This time Deanna stayed where she was.

"And us?" She asked quietly, expectantly.

"Especially us." He answered truthfully.

He took another step, putting her within touching distance.

"I think about you all the time, Imzadi. I long for the day when we are thinking about us together and finally do something about it. I miss you, Deanna. I love you."

"What about us serving on the same ship, Will. We always said that we shouldn't, not whilst were serving aboard the same ship."

Will chuckled. "Who do you think we are kidding, Deanna? Everybody knows that you are my girl. Everybody knows it's just a matter of time. We can be together, you know? There is nothing in Starfleet's rules about couples that serve together not marrying."

"Marry?? Are you asking me to marry you, Will Riker?"

"No," Will grinned, taking that final step and slipping his arms tenderly around her waist. "I'm not asking. I'm telling you, Miss Troi. We are going to be married, right here, on board the Enterprise. The day has come when all this thinking has finally come full circle."

Deanna's smile was radiant as she looked up into her beloved's warm, blue gaze, but seconds after the air changed, became electric.

Her fingers settled upon Will's hard forearms and she looked earnestly into Will's face, looked deeper still into his soul, urging him to understand her need.

"Touch me, Will."

Instantly Will realised what she asking. Her need to replace Jev's touch with his own was all that she needed to complete her healing. He had succeeded with the words, now he just had to do the rest.

Gently and slowly, he raised his palm and caressed her jaw. Deanna's trembling hand slipped over his and held it and her eyes slipped shut. Will felt and saw her melt and watched fascinated as she gradually, but surely, replaced the memory of Jev with his own.

Will felt empowered and stepped closer and tenderly touched his lips to hers. She responded in kind, sliding her arms up and around his neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss. Eventually he broke away, but only far enough and long enough to whisper to her. "How could I ever have stopped thinking about you, Imzadi? You were all I ever dreamt about, all I ever wanted.

Smiling seductively, Deanna brushed her lower body against his. "Do you want me now?"

Laughing, Will gripped her hips and gently, but firmly moved her away from his tormented, aching, inflamed loins. "Damn straight I want you, woman, but first you're going to marry me, today, tonight. I'm not waiting any longer, not now we've found us again."

"Best we go and tell the captain the good news then."

Will laughed as he took her hand and led her out of her quarters. "Oh, I think the captain already knows, my love."

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