IMZADI - THE LOST CHAPTERS

 
 

By Carol Sandford

 
 

Part 2

 
 

The Unspoken Goodbye's - Chapter 1

 
 

"What time do you leave, Will?" Deanna held her breath as she looked into the eyes of the man she had fallen in love with all over again. They both knew that it was getting close, so close for him to leave.

Deanna was not going to be able to bare watching him transport away before her very eyes. To disappear into the far reaches of space, maybe for a few short months, maybe for a year, maybe for ever.

Not being deeply religious, Deanna had found herself beginning to pray almost constantly. But sometimes she began to wonder if she was actually begging. Begging for Will to come home safely to her. Begging for something to go wrong so that he did not even have to go. And even though she was painfully ashamed to admit it, deep, deep down, she begged that their numerous, passionate lovemaking's had created a child.

Deanna ached to feel the weight of Will's baby inside her, and to hold it close to her breast. To watch the miniature version of him growing tall and strong. But she also knew that it was strict rules for members of Starfleet stationed on Betazed had to fitted with inhibitors. Deanna cringed as she remembered a comment made by a senior dignitary, "We can't have a bunch of those horny Starfleet bastards wandering our streets!"

Will pulled her tight into his arms, forcing her to expel the breath that she had been holding. His voice was barely audible as he uttered the words that she did not want to hear.

"1800 hours, sweetheart." Squeezing her tighter still, he gently rocked her back and forth, his words rumbled in his chest as his voice broke against her hair. "God Dee, I don't want to leave you."

Deanna breathed in deeply, kissing his chest, and taking in his scent, imprinting it forever in her head, never wanting to forget. The spicy aroma licked at her aching senses, and she moved her hips against his. Will instantly reacted. He moaned at the familiar ache, and she felt his response push against her. "Make love to me, Will, one more time. Please."

Will held her away from him so that he could see her face. Her beautiful eyes were huge as she faced him head on, her desperation written all over her. She whispered once more,

" "Please."

Sweeping her up in his arms, he carried her back to his bed. Only leaving it barely half an hour ago, the sheets were still warm. Laying her gently down, he pushed aside the huge shirt that she had 'acquired' from his wardrobe. Running his hand down the length of her body, he was once more in awe of her beauty. Deanna burned with the intensity of his gaze. Never again would anyone make her feel the way she felt when Will looked at her. Reaching up she tugged at his shoulder, "Love me, Will."

Will swiftly took her hand and pinned it beside her side, he whispered "Soon Deanna, I want to look at you, I want to take this memory with me when I go. Just a little longer."

Deanna let her eyes fall shut as she let her mind fill with every passionate, loving and wondrous thought that flowed from the very depths of Will's soul. His breath lightly fanned over her bare skin, sending little ripples of anticipation throughout her body. She felt a feather light kiss touch her shoulder. Reaching over, she clasped his head forcing his lips to meet hers.

Deanna had had enough mental attention, her body began to scream for some of the physical kind. Dragging one long nail up the centre of his back, Will groaned at the sensation that rose within him as she got higher. Squirming as the same nail made its way back down, he jerked in surprise as she grabbed at a healthy piece of his ass. Shocked, Will's eyes flew open as he looked into her face. Seeing the devilment in hers, and the naughty grin teasing her mouth, it didn't take long to understand what Deanna had in mind.

"I see. The lady wants to play, does she?"

Deanna answered with a meaningful thrust of her pelvic area, her legs purposefully forcing their way between his. Puzzled, Will shifted to accommodate her, his apprehension growing along with his excitement.

Deanna shoved hard on his rib cage forcing him on to his knees. Shuffling her body down slightly she pulled his mouth down to hers, giving him a searing kiss that left him begging for more. Moments later, she surprised him again, by shuffling down further and began kissing his neck, then his chest, and then his nipples.

Now it was Will's turn to close his eyes and let the sensations wash over him. By the time Deanna had gotten to the point of swirling her tongue around his tummy button, he was violently trembling.

"Sweet Jesus, Dee, be a good girl will you, I'm only human, y'know?"

Will jerked at the feelings that rocked through him. It was all Deanna needed to egg her on. She teased him with with her tongue, the swirling motion made Will's body jerk with rotating movements in time with her. Will eventually managed to still his body to relish every moment, every second, until he could take no more.

But Will could not control the convulsions that began to rack his body, and he finally had to beg, "Stop, Dee, please sweetheart, Oh...my...God...Oh, Oh!"

But through the haze of erotic delight, Will heard and felt her laughing.

Will was mortified! Here he was, in ecstatic heaven, trying his hardest to not humiliate himself and she was laughing at him.

Disengaging his body from her ministrations, he pushed himself back down to her face level, puzzlement invaded his features. Ready to chide her for her lack of sensitivity, Will propped himself beside her, but it was then that he realised something was wrong. Very wrong.

"Deanna?"

Her name being spoken triggered the dam that had slowly built up inside of her. The laughter trailed off and turned to wretchedness and Will watched horrified as Deanna began to cry. But not a normal tearful cry. It was Gut-wrenching, soul-destroying sobs, that ripped his heart wide apart along with her own.

Will did not know what to say, or how to help. Holding her tight he mourned their impending separation along with her, but no matter how much he tried to comfort her, Deanna still cried as though her heart was bursting. So he did the only thing that Will Riker knew how to do.

He kissed her.

As Deanna sobbed beneath him, he kissed her. Will forced his tongue into her mouth and holding her head still with his hands, he kissed her. And as he relentlessly plundered her mouth, almost brutally, Will's own grief poured into her until the bodily needs began to overcome the heart's needs.

Seconds turned into minutes until he finally felt her sobs turn to hiccups. The hiccups eventually turned to moans, and as they began to make love, it was with the longing desperation that shattered every miserable emotion that had come from their souls to culminate into a shared wave of orgasm that went on and on, eventually ebbing away leaving them clinging to one another, gathering the strength they needed to finally part.

Soundlessly they began to shed fresh tears but who's tears were whose, neither knew as they hugged tightly. Silently. Lost in the shared, unspoken agony that enveloped them.

Exhausted, Will cradled Deanna until he heard her breathing become shallow and even. Gently easing his arm out from under her, he crept off the bed, and simply stood looking down at the woman who had become the mainstay of his entire life.

It was time for him to go. Until they were united once more, this was their exodus.

Catching the choked sob in his throat, Will quietly gathered his clothes, slipped on his pants, and with one last long look at the sleeping form, he whispered to her.

"I'm sorry I can't say goodbye to you, darling, but I will always love you Deanna Troi, you'll be in my heart and mind forever."

Will sighed deeply and stepped outside the door, closing it silently behind him.

Deanna watched him leave through half closed lids. In her heart she understood that this was the best way to let him go. She would have probably passed out if she had to watch him disappear before her very eyes. A solitary tear freed itself as she whispered to the closed door.

"Good journey, Imzadi, just come back to me one day, I'll be waiting..." She groaned into her pillow at the renewed ache that welled inside her.

"God, I'll be crazy waiting."

Will almost collided with Lwaxana in his haste to escape the misery that always seemed to plague him in that room. Coming to a halt in front of her, Will stared into the matching onyx eyes of the woman he had just left behind.

Lwaxana appeared to be studying him intently and Will went cold under the scrutiny. But then she sighed as she finally spoke to him.

"I should hate you, Mr. Riker for what you have done to my daughter, but, I know she loves you deeply, and believe it or not, I too was once in this exact same situation, so I know how you both are feeling right now. But I swear, if you hurt her anymore than you already have, I shall pull every string, and I shall call in every favour owed to me, to have you kicked out of Starfleet. Do you understand me, Mr. Riker?"

Will wisely decided to say nothing, but curtly nodded, and watched as she swept past him, dragging her long gown behind her.

Lwaxana originally planned to say a lot more to him, She had come with just that intent and to be there for her daughter when Will finally left, but she had been genuinely shocked at the depth of his feelings for Deanna.

Half an hour previous, Lwaxana had arrived to try one more time to make them both see sense, and had almost knocked on his door when she heard her baby, and Will crying. Lwaxana's mind felt every ounce of the tragedy unfolding behind the solid door. Panic almost made her intrude on probably the most traumatic moment her daughter was ever going to have to endure. Wisdom told her that this was one moment in time when a girl did not want her mama. Right now, Deanna needed Will.

She would be there for her when he was gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sergeant Tang was waiting in the transporter room for Will when he finally emerged ten minutes later. Will came to a stop in front of his friend. Tang looked into the young man's face, reading his eyes as he watched the emotions play over the handsome features and he could see that Will wanted to say something, but he seemed to be unable to.

Tang did not know what to say, or how to help, but Will understood and as they stared onto each other's eyes they shook hands firmly. Tang grasped his hand with both of his, somehow the gesture filtered through and Will gave him a small smile. Nothing was said until Will stepped onto the transporter pad.

Still watching Will, Tang spoke to the technician. "Inform The Hood Lieutenant Riker is ready to beam up" Moments later his hail was heard, and the permission was granted.

"Beaming up, sir."

Seconds before Will began to dematerialize, he mouthed to Tang, "Look after her for me."

Pride flared in Tang's eyes and as his hand rose to touch his forehead, and as Will shimmered out of sight, Tang saluted his pledge whispering, "You got it, sir." .

Still laying on the bed that smelled heavily of their last intimate embrace and wrapped within her mothers arms, Deanna Troi wailed as the light in her universe finally went out.

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